Monday, November 30, 2015

What's Next On My List? 100 Thoughts I Had While Watching The L Word

So I was binge watching The L Word and I couldn't stand but comment it to my friend and I made her laugh and she said "You should live blog this" and I was almost at the end of the third season and I decided to go back and get my comments from my conversations with her and share them here, along with everything else I thought about the show! Tons of spoilers ahead, this is really for people who watched it - or need a reason to stop!

This is the first time I'm doing this, so bare with me, I might not be the best at it, but no matter how many times I sat down so far I just couldn't write an actual review. And I'll take on a counter as well, so these are my 100 thoughts while watching The L Word. Oh, and before you head in, just know this: I f*cking hated this show. Look forward to a lot of cursing!

Season 1:
1) This show doesn't have a good effect on me. I don't like Jenny. And what doesn't irritate me makes me sad. Perfect combination.

2) Yes, it would be logical for me stop now, but we both know that's not happening.

3) Jennifer Beals... I want someone to look at me like that.

4) Dana's cat is so cute. God, I can't even get a cat to be interested, let alone Jennifer Beals.

5) I f*cking hate cheaters. I f*cking hate this show. I hate real life. F*cking f*cked up relationships of shit.

Season 2:
6) The one pair I liked broke up, every single person cheats on every single person. Same with hetero shows, same with gays and same with lesbians. Wonderful, I mean really. What's the point of getting up in the morning?

7) Helena is not normal either.

8) Jenny's scenes are a bit too disturbing for me.

9) What's real and isn't? So, Jenny is writing about her childhood? I am not sure what's happening, but they are implying that her sexuality is caused due to a childhood trauma, and I'm definitely not OK with that. A trauma I'm not even clear about... was she raped? Wait, what happened? This freak circus theme is not OK.

Season 3:
10) Shane with a puppy. My life is complete.

11) This show is f*cked up. (My friend's reply: "And they are proud of it.")

12) I love Alan Cumming. I always have, have been following him for over 15 years now, but I am reminded with every single role.

13) I hate this show. Why am I still watching?

14) It's a sad world we live in when I would still rather watch this than Grey's Anatomy. I fucking hate Grey's Anatomy. I'm tired.

15) Does anyone else do that? Watch something when it's just... why??!!!

16) Helena has become my favorite character. That's just a new low show...

17) Alice: "You were right. Bisexuality is gross. I see it now." -- I laughed out loud. :D

18) Dana died. I'm actually really sad. I'm gonna miss her. --> The moment I realize I lost one of three characters I actually like.

19) Oh Tina turned straight, that's just great.

20) Eric Roberts plays Shane's father? F*CK YEAH! FINALLY SOMETHING GOOD IS HAPPENING!

21) Oh now they are singing about a song about licking a girl. That's just... perfect.

22) Really Alice, Lara? I mean. Yeah, she's gorgeous, but wow. I actually don't know how I feel about this. Is this the grieving process? I never got that. Once in my life I would like to attend a funeral where someone gets super horny just to ask them "What exactly turned you on in this situation?"

23) NONNOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO, SHANE, NOOOO!!!! Goddamn you show. I hate you. I hate this. Why?! WHY?! --> Lost the second character I liked.

24) Oh, Bette steals the baby. Mature.

25) Tina's gone straight... Alice and Dana are two best friends who hooked up... Shane can't commit... Oh my god, this is Queer As Folk with women (I binge watched that too. It was very educational back then)! Are these communities really this... predictable? I am actually getting pissed at people for saying that Will&Grace was too stereotypical, at least that was creative and innovative! I can't wait for this show to have the same ending as that. (Yes, I hated that too).

Season 4:
25) More Jane Lynch. Please.

26) Oh Jenny, please walk over Max's feelings some more. Because he... hurt you? I don't actually remember that ever happening. He was rude that, what, two times? Truly, kick him some more for something you didn't talk to him about and some other thing you said you were OK with.

27) Marina! MARINA! I hated Marina, and I've never been happier to see Marina! Oh that accent... it's horrible. (I watched the first two seasons dubbed in Hungarian).

28) Is she Papi? That would be fun. But Papi sounds Spanish, so I am still holding out hope that Carmen will come back. But I know American shows too much: It will be someone new.

29) Marina's room looks like Blanche's room in Golden Girls.

30) I googled it, IT IS TOTALLY BLANCHE'S ROOM! (OK the pattern is the same, still).

31) Can't decide if I'm impressed or disturbed by the fact that there is someone who slept with more people than Shane.

32) Now I prefer Max over Jenny. Really anyone over Jenny - again.

33) ARIZONA??!! (I mean Jessica Capshaw??!!) (Yet another Grey's reference... I need to break up with that show...)

34) I don't know who does the hair for Tina now, but she's super hot!

35) A party with straight people and gay people. In which every single straight person is a homophobe. Really? I mean really, all of them? That's problem number one with this series... there are a handful of people who are straight and are cool, but everyone else hates gays? I get that this show tries to concentrate on a single community of a single town, but still, making gays hate heterosexuals is - for me at least - equally bad as the other way around. How exactly does this show equality?

36) Gotta give it to this show, when Bette becomes friendly with Helena, the woman who was sleeping with her pregnant ex? That just gives me hope that there is nothing out there we can't overcome. And you can move on like a pro!

37) Aaaannnd she slept with her student. No. F*ck you show. No. How long has she been a teacher, a week? Great role model you are Bette.

38) Jenny is now being a bitch to Tina. OK. That's new.

39) They are playing basketball now. This is unbearable to watch.

40) Oh god, please stop playing. This is my favorite game, I can't keep watching... the rules!!! THEY ARE BREAKING ALL THE RULES!!! STOP PLEASE.

41) Papi. You did it show, you managed to get a character more annoying than anyone else. Hating her keeps me distracted from all the faults of the show.

42) Like Jenny... do the people who write her character not watch the previous seasons?! Since when is she a bitch to all of her friends? Drinking coffee during the game? It was important to Alice, why is she like this? I get that she had a 360° turn after her therapy at the end of season two, but boy, she is just NOT a good person generally, and I don't get why the others keep her around.

43) Shut up Papi.


45) Uh Shane agreed to the photoshoot. I did see that coming.

46) Wait, where the hell is Marina?!

47) Oh look, Jenny wrote about her friends. It's almost as if she lacked any creativity as a writer. OH WAIT!

48) "Oh imagination is what you lacked when you barely changed our names." -- thank you Alice!

49) Cheating again. OK. I'm slowly losing faith in humanity (again).

50) Shut up Papi.

51) I'm not sure why they decided to kick Carmen out, or what exactly happened to Shane that made her want to bail on their wedding, still, no matter what happens, Shane is my favorite character and she truly is the only reason I'm still watching.

52) Although I started to like Alice lately.

53) I seemed to have stopped swearing. That's good.

54) Season 4, episode 6, "Luck be a lady", the telephone scene? That was worth everything I suffered so far :D Best 15 minutes I ever saw on film :D

55) Oh look, Max did become the most interesting character.

56) Tina! I forgot you exist! ... On that note, how did the writers forget her too?

57) The moment Max sees that the only people that are kind of her friends have no idea what his work is... priceless.

58) ERIC ROBERTS IS BACK!!! It must be Christmas!!

59) Marlee Matlin keeps amazing me. She's a wonderful actress.

60) I'm really sorry Shay had to leave... I liked where Shane's story was going.

61) What exactly does Marina do? I mean, as a job? Does she have a diploma? How did she leave her husband again? So from café owner to suicidal wife to now musical actress? OK. Like, do you need a degree for that? And where does she get the money? And question from season two, HOW DID SHE LIVE FOR SO MANY YEARS WITH A WOMAN WHILE SHE HAD A HUSBAND?!

62) Sure hope Jenny turns out to be a jealous bitch too, because we wouldn't want to end her list of unlikable traits before the fifth season! *Sarcasm.

63) STOP IT, STOP F*CKING IT!!! If you're going to bring Tina and Bette together do it already!

64) Whoops, I forgot Kit was an alcoholic. That's messed up. Oh we're over it after one episode? Cool.

65) Bette commenting Jenny's book? Awesome.

66) F*ck yeah Jane Lynch.

67) If Jenny is in the next season I'm not watching. Why are these people friends with her? (-- I'm laughing hysterically.) The director and the journalist destroyed her. God, that felt amazing! Somebody finally made her see what a horrible human being she is. Thank you. Thank you.

  • INTERMISSION: I need time before I go on... I'm actually wishing that Jenny died and I fear that she didn't... but I am curious to see some people, like Max, Bette, Alice and of course Shane. My friend's latest comment: "I seriously don't get how you could watch the whole series," this gives me energy to go on! I love it when she thinks I'm crazy!

Season 5
68) God the f*ck damn it... she's still alive. F*ck.

69) I swear to God, one of the writers dated a Jenny and they ruined their life and so they decided to write her into the show as the most asshole-ish and easily hateable human being on the planet. Why Shane likes her is completely beyond me.

70) Please God, promise me her movie will be a flop. Please please please, please please, please. Please...

71) Tina hates being single. I can relate.

72) Why ... why is no one wearing a bra? Like is that a thing I missed out on in life? If you put on two t-shirts, you can leave out the bra? (Is that an American thing?) Or is that just you knowing you'll have sex in a while so you're not putting it on? I mean... is that a thing?

73) "Do it again, some lesbians you have to break up with twice." That right there is the only thing I can agree with on this show.

74) Wait, where the hell is that French woman? Also, Marina?

75) OK, I'll give it to you show, when it comes to characters who represent older women, you win me over every single time. Peggy Peabody, Phyllis Kroll and Joice Wischnia? They have the best dialogues I have come across in television.

76) I'll miss Helena...

77) "- We're gonna f*ck in a closet?
- The irony hasn't escaped me."  <-- I laughed at that one.

78) Why won't anyone listen to Max? Adele is clearly weird... actually that's the theme of this show, isn't? Max being always alert and caring and noticing when something is wrong and nobody listening to him. Why not? What is the reason why nobody can be bothered to take into consideration his thoughts?!

79) Oh dear lord... so they started doing the movie, and I get that the actresses are straight, but you can't tell me they never had sex in their life "I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing." ... seriously?

80) I'm so tired of Alice again... this is why I didn't like her in the beginning, she used her friends' relationship to get ahead the same way Jenny did.

81) Shane wrestling that b*tch in oil? Perfect. I have several times wished people would start hitting each other in this show, I for one certainly wanted to punch them.

82) Anybody messing with Jenny is a friend of mine.

83) Don't worry, I'm still cursing profusely over here, I just thought I would stop writing it down, because I felt it was starting to get inappropriate.

84) So grumpy Bette... is that like a norm from now on? Should we expect any other emotion out of her or... was this where her character development was heading? Because in that case you made a horrible writing decision there.

85) I was happy to see Tina be nice to Jenny, because after all of that it shows me that good people stay good, even if they have to take on assholes. Oh, and also, I am totally fine with Adele screwing Jenny out of the movie.

86) "Max, I should have listened to you." ... that's the understatement of the century.

87) "Girl!", Kit greeting someone? It's awesome. I want her to hug me too as if I was one of the girls.

88) Oh my God, Jenny loves Shane. Oh my God. That's... actually brilliant. And, at the same time, FUCK YOU SHOW! I am so tired of TV shows ruining friendships... trust me, people can be friends without falling in love with each other! That is just some Hollywood bullshit they keep pulling and I am so tired of it. Nonetheless, Jenny acting like an actual human being by the end of the season was great.

89) So, is Adele just gonna get away with it?

Season 6:
90) Is she dead? Please be dead! Don't fuck with me show, I have been wishing for her to die for I don't know how many season now, don't you pretend she's gone if she's gonna come back! --- F*CK IT'S IN THE FINALE, ISN'T IT?! Dammit...

91) Wow, Jane Lynch naked in Phyllis' office... and proposing naked :D this is by far my favorite season!

92) Oh yes, Alice's reaction to Shane and Jenny having sex was my same reaction! You get a point again show :D

93) No, I am not OK with how Bette dealt  with the Jodi situation. Still, if Bette will be the one to lose her job over Jodi's revenge scheme I'm going to lose my mind.

94) F*ck you Phyllis.

95) That beard make-up on Max is effing terrible. Are we gonna keep that for the whole season? Because I vote we don't... It's not so much the beard I came to realize, but the hair... is he from the 70's now?

  • INTERMISSION: I took another long break here because I realized I just can't go on. I don't care about the end. But a friend told me "You only left 4 episodes?" ... and I knew I had to finish it.

96) Oh dear f*cking lord. Jenny stole Alice's story. I am so f*cking pissed right now I have never hated anyone like this in my entire goddamn life. And this is a stupid TV show character... I want someone to hit her with their car and push her off a building and set her on fire after hitting her with a baseball bat in the head. Over. And over. And over again.

97) Oh, are we setting up that anyone could've killed Jenny? Spoiler, it was me. I f*cking hate that bitch.

98) Shane cheating on Jenny is making me happy. This show is making me feel weird things.

99) Bette: "However, I am happy to be getting out of this little incestuous hot bed of lesbian interfucking connectedness." Thank you for that, as a finale, knowing that the show recognizes what it has been doing for six seasons now makes me very satisfied.

100) So... is Adele really gonna get away with it? <-- and that right there shows you how invested I was: I don't give a f*ck about the finale.

_ _ _ _ _

Overall, I liked the theme song. And Kit being nice to Max (since she was the ONLY person nice to Max). That's all I have to say. Oh and most of my friends never saw all of the episodes, so I win. Don't know what I win, since I wasted 59 hours of my life on this... but maybe I can use that to win arguments on this topic.
If I had to choose my favorite characters I would first go with Shane. She wans't the nicest, if you know what I mean, her messing around on others made me mad at her several times. Still, I could feel that she wanted to change. Something many of the other characters didn't... they had something shitty in their lives and instead of trying to fix it they just stumbled on it over and over again. Especially in the last episode when she realizes she let the one get away for that insane manipulative bitch, who for some reason has no problem lying to people but calls them out on their shit... The other person I think I liked the most is Max. You might have guessed this from my thoughts during the show, but I had to think it over. His character was, I think, a mirror to the other characters. At first, although he was smart, his heart was lost somewhere, like Bette. Then he was cheated on, like Tina. He took the drugs and was out of it, like Jenny. He also found a job he liked and he was good at, like Alice. But, overall, he just found what he loved and put everything he had into it like Kit. The pregnancy I think was just a 'fuck you' to all characters, because they could never get a baby this easily, while the one who doesn't want it gets pregnant. However, his character development was so under the radar, that I too only realized some things while writing a conclusion to my thoughts.

I don't know if that was the intended purpose, but I think it was somewhat implied that they all were in on eliminating Jenny and that just made me want to hug them, one by one.

I get what you wanted to say show, you were telling stories. These don't have to be true, but, on some level they are, that's why it made me upset. The actors were great, the songs in season five were actually phenomenal, and some of the characters completely took me by surprise. And that is rare. Yes, it is a female version of Queer As Folk, but if you show one community, why not show another one?

Watch it? No. You are not missing much without it. Some episodes are special, and there were some serious issues it tried to deal with, but nothing you can't get see in any other show that deals with marriage, divorce, children, work, relationships in general. Life in LA is interesting, and this show has a take on it that is a bit different from others. Still, not worth the six seasons, I'm sorry.

Until the next item on my list!
_ _ _ _ _ _

Bette Porter - Jennifer Beals
Alice Pieszecki - Leisha Hailey
Tina Kennard - Laurel Holloman
Jenny Schecter - Mia Kirshner
Shane McCutcheon - Katherine Moennig
Kit Porter - Pam Grier
Helena Peabody - Rachel Shelley
Max Sweeney - Daniela Sea
Dana Fairbanks - Erin Daniels
Jodi Lerner - Marlee Matlin
Tasha Williams - Rose Rollins

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