Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Október 1. - The 1st of October - Il primo Ottobre

Mellrák elleni országos nap. Ne bízd a szerencsére, légy biztos az egésszégedben!

Breast Cancer Awareness day. Do not leave it up to luck, make sure you are fine!

Giornata nazionale contro il cancro al seno. Non lasciare tutto alla fortuna, sí sicura che stai bene!


http://www.pinkribbon.com/

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The First Time I Fell In Love


If you are either interested in Jesse Bradford or Elisha Cuthbert movies, or, if you came across remakes of Korean movies (2001) you might have seen a little straight to DVD movie called “My Sassy Girl” (2008).
Now, I know that I don’t really make personal entries, I have a reason for that, but this movie inspires me. The movie begun with this phrase: “This is the story of the first and last time I ever fell in love.” The movie itself tells us the story of Charlie Bellow who has fallen madly in love with a girl who manages to completely destroy his life in three months time and completely turn his world upside down.

Charlie - “On the reasons to stop seeing her side we have: One, ongoing physical danger. Two, high likely-hood of a broken heart. Three, uh career sabotage. Four, she is clinically insane. Five, she seems to enjoy my pain. Six, fourteen piece matched set of Louis Vuitton emotional baggage. Seven, I haven't even kissed her yet, for God's sakes. Uh eight, she's ruining my life.
Friend – “And the reasons to keep seeing her?
Charlie - “One. I'm in love with her. “

That is quite beautiful. To add, the story in also a teaching of how small the world actually is. As it turns out, Jordan (the girl) has recently lost her fiancee he passed away. The late fiancee's mother wants her to meet someone who is quite like he was. As it turns out, this person was also Charlie’s cousin, and his aunt wants Jordan to meet him. The whole idea of the movie is that Jordan only believes in destiny and she tells Charlie they should break up, and if in one year they will encounter each other then it means they should be together. This totally destroys Charlie, but he waits for her, only to meet her at a dinner given by his aunt.
Besides the fact that this movie is for me the absolute love story and one of the bests at that, I decided to use it to describe the first time I fell in love because it has all the steps I went through.
Unfortunately, my friends, knowing who that person was have been kind enough to let me know how much they hate it when I talk about them, so for sanitary reasons I am not going to give any information about “them”. As a matter of fact, I’m going to call them “they”. Use your imagination!
When the story begins, we meet someone whom we like as a person. Actually, many-many times we can’t even decide if we hate or love the person we are spending time with. It was the same for me. It took me a while to realize that all I want is to just spend time with them and find excuses to do so. It was so with Charlie and Jordan too, he couldn't admit it that he loved every second when they were together, because she was destroying his dreams with drinking and being foolish. So we are not sure what we want.
My problem always was that when we are in love, and that love is not mutual, we are treated as lepers. And I don’t see the necessity of that. It’s not that I decided who I should fall in love with. So if we can’t get them we try to do all kinds of stupid things. That never works out. Once you lose that chemistry you can’t get it back. In the movie there is a scene where an ex-soldier puts a gun at them and tells them his story. He was enlisted and his girlfriend left him for a Frenchman. Therefore he planned to kill them. He couldn’t find them at home, so he decided to kill himself. He said that it’s going to hurt her and she will never recover. To this, Jordan replies:

Jordan – “You’re wrong, ‘cause time will pass and she’ll be fine.”
Soldier – “How do you know?
Jordan – “ ‘Cause that’s the way it works.”
Soldier – “How do you know?
Jordan – “It has to be.”

And I can’t decide if that is sad or comforting somehow. You know, when someone close to me died, I thought that this was going to stay with me forever. And it kinda does, it always will. But I have somehow healed. You think I haven’t thought about killing myself at one point? Oh, yes, I did. Somehow it still crosses my mind. For some stupid reason I believe that it’ll teach them a lesson, and that is wrong. I am smarter than that. First of all, someone who doesn't care about you is not going to be hurt if you die. They couldn’t care less and they probably would never blame themselves for it either. No, it is quite obvious that you are the stupid one, it is not their fault. But what must we do? You can’t turn off your heart. Believe me, I have tried. But every human being on the planet only wants to be in love. It is stupid to assume that men only listen to their penises. I have never believed that and I invite you to forget it. Yes, many people like to have sex, some more than others. Some are capable of cheating, some are not. But that doesn't mean that they don’t have a heart. And no, sorry, I have made a mistake. Nobody wants to be in love, we want to be loved. Being in love sucks, who cares? We want to be loved. I myself have plenty of friends and family and I know they care about me. I just wish someone would love me before I die. Because:

Jordan – “Listen, your girlfriend, she broke you heart, yes?
Soldier – “Yes!
Jordan – “She broke her promise and she betrayed you.
Soldier – “Yes, yes she did!
Jordan – “Some of us are meant to suffer, you know? Some of us are meant to believe that we have a certain destiny and then it gets just snatched away. But we have to stay alive. Because we have to see how the story ends… Right?

She was right, you know. Let alone the fact that it seems nobody is interested in you and that your friends, whom of course unlike you have all had somewhat successful relationships, think that you are stupid to be in love. To be in love with that precise person, to feel the need to cling to someone, to be stupid enough to wish them to love you back after all the ways they hurt you, you… you… at the end of the day still need to hope. You still need to believe that there is someone out there. That if destiny has anything to do with your life, it will help you get somewhere. “Destiny is the bridge you build to the one you love.” How long are we supposed to work on that goddamn bridge? I believe I am one of those who is meant to suffer. Have you noticed that everyone is in a relationship? It doesn't get easier when you get older, because then everyone seems to be getting married. :) I don’t want to go on, you get the point. Before I stop, there is one more phrase I’d like to quote from Charlie: "Where is the line between romantic and delusional?
And that you should always keep in mind. If someone loves you, there purpose is not to destroy your life, to drive you insane, make you think that they are stalkers and so on. They only wish for you to love them back, to be part of your life, to be the ones who can put a smile of your face. If you don't love them back, no hard feelings, but at least let them down easily instead of kicking them. Is that so much to ask?

The movie is very beautiful, set in last weeks of Autumn, portrays a beautiful New York and the characters are very likable. Even if at certain points you just want to hit Jordan in the face, in the end you understand her pain and you just want them to be together. Throughout the whole movie they share only one kiss, which I find was even more touching, seeing that nowadays in romantic movies kissing is completely misused. Think of such classics like You've Got Mail! Either way, it is 90 minutes of pure fun, make sure you check it out!

Check out my favorite song from the soundtrack!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

T'was the time

T'was the time
to lose our innocence
let out the beast within
give in to temptation
allow our hearts to be free.


T'was the time
to feel you in me
to feel your heat and sweetness
to understand what is humanity
let the strings connect.


T'was the time
that time on our wedding night
when I understood your love
when I truly felt your heart
the first time I fell in love.